October 04, 2008

Time to let go...

This is a picture of mom exactly one year before she passed.. we were on our Alaskan Cruise.

Last weekend was the scheduled memorial for mom. Roxane arrived Friday and everyone else arrived throughout the day on Saturday. For those who arrived early, they were treated to breakfast as we visited and many took turns going to the beach. The weather even cooperated and it turned out to be a beautiful day.

Before the memorial, we all met at McKeown's for dinner , we had the back room all to our selves. It was a nice gathering and we toasted mom. You had to be there to appreciate the toast but we were all sure mom was smiling.

After dinner, it was off to the Cove for the memorial. This was a special place for mom and a fitting place to scatter her ashes. As we all gathered, we had a moment of silence and then everyone has a small part of mom's ashes and scatted them along the rocks. ok... now don't freak out... but I scattered my dogs ashes too... and my sister was also ready to let her husband go and she and her daughter scattered his ashes as well.I am sure that mom was very happy they were all together. I have kept my dogs ashes for 3 years... I told my husband.... could you see if I kept mom's.. I would never let them go. Each person had a pink a balloon (breast cancer ) to let go after we scattered her ashes...

It was hard to say good bye and release her... we all cried and hugged each other. As we watched the balloons float toward the sky out of nowhere comes a jet(now you guys may not find that strange but around here you don't see anything but private planes and not that many). The trail of smoke out of the back of the jet looked pink.. I am sure that was just for mom. It was hard but everyone said they felt a sense of closure.

My sweet cousin Karen volunteered to take pictures and as you can see did a wonderful job. She took many more photos and other family members took them also... but I think they were just too personal to blog them.

This is Jade's first time trying a panorama shot... it came out awesome.

This was the sweatshirt I had on.. I thought it was appropriate for mom.

We were going to have a bonfire on the beach.. but I think everyone was just to wiped out to do it.. It was the hardest thing we have ever done in our lives.. we went back to the house and relaxed. Sunday everyone stopped by to to say bye and head back to their homes (my siblings all live in Washington State).

My son and his family said they were going to head out and were going to the Portland Zoo on their way home. They created quite a stir and before you knew it, we said lets all go.... and off we went. The trip was uneventful and included Jade and his family,Roxanne and her family, Laurie & Tom and Robert and myself. Wow was it hot in Portland... there was no parking we had to walk to a shuttle area... take the shuttle to the Zoo. Yikes.. Who's bright idea was this!! Actually everyone had a good time and you know... seeing the new baby elephant was so worth how hot it was.

On the way home we stopped at Camp 18 for dinner, We had the greatest waiter... he kept us laughing all night.

Monday morning Laurie brought brought coffee and breakfast for Florence and myself before heading home. They finally got out of here by 1pm and made it safely home. It was Robert's birthday so he took the day off and played golf with his best friend Monte.

It was so hard when everyone left... I am told to take a day at a time. Some days it is hour by hour. This is a poem I found on the Internet... says it all...

I wanted to thank you again for all the prayers.

I wish I could have expressed myself better with this post... it feels flat and it deserves more. I wanted it to be more celebratory that she is in heaven and happy.. I truly believe that... but it still hurts to not have her here in the physical.


  1. AAAwwww Joy - hugs for you my friend. Hugs, hugs, huge hugs!~G


  2. I know what you mean sis this month seems hard because it is breast cancer month and then with the holidays coming I'm not sure how I will do or what I will do I I usually spend them with her its going to be a very long year let's hug each other lots so we don't get lost I love you and Bob


  3. Everything looked so beautiful. The jet seemed to be a sign, a good one... Hugs from us, Debbie & Dan

  4. The memorial to your Mother is very nice. Really nice. I don't think I ever met her, (or any of your siblings, for that matter). If I did, it was so many years ago that I can't remember.
    My Father passed away 8 years ago. I still miss him dearly, but he's with me always, and that makes it easier. (I talk to him 'inside my head' when I see or hear anything that reminds me of him, or just when I find myself thinking about him).
    I'm sure you'll carry your Mother with you, too, and that you'll find it easy helps deal with the loss. The picture of the jet with the pink exhaust gave me goosebumps... My thoughts are with you,

    Love Karen

  5. Thank you for leaving a comment on my blog. I'm so sorry that you lost your lovely mom, a very hard thing to cope with. Sending you big hugs and a wish for better times to come.

    Pop in any time if you feel like a chat, I'm on line most days.

  6. Aunt Joy...that looked like a really nice memorial for Grandma. I am sooo sorry that I missed it!
    :( I hope you are doing better. I love you, vikki

  7. Joy! Big hugs and thinking of you my friend.

  8. My heart and prayers go out to you. I wish I could make this easier for you and I know your mom would want to do the same. As I was fighting breast cancer, I was more concerned about what it was doing to my family that the effect it was having on me. I'm sure your mom felt that way also. Treasure your memories and her love. It will always be with you.

    And thank you for the post you left on my blog. Annie

  9. BEautiful Post! Sorry to hear about your loss, but saying goodbbye to you mom in teh way you all did sounds like a perfect goodbye to me.

  10. just linked on from PW (actually because my mom's maiden name is gross your s/n caught my eye). i dont know you obviously but send you a big hug and prayer for your family while you go through this loss. i liked the pink balloons; neat idea. my mom had breast cancer 8 yrs ago and my grandma just did this last summer. i was one of the lucky ones though; they are still in my life. i couldnt imagine what you are going through. keep your head up.


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